I love Girls Aloud. Anyone that doesn’t is either lying to themselves and you or is completely aff their tits. In the mid noughties, pop music was doing some pretty exciting things and Girls Aloud were very much the queens of this movement. Whether you like it or not, songs like ‘Biology’, ‘Something Kinda Ooooh’ and ‘Wake Me Up’ were at the forefront of exciting British popular music. The glory days eh?
Well, it’s 2012 and pop music is a fucking mess. You cannae get through 20 seconds of any bit of chart tripe without a poorly conceived dubstep wobble ruining your shit. I for one think the EDM backlash is about as bullshit as it gets and anyone complaining about it’s popularity needs to sit the fuck doon but it’s the bits of EDM that have bled into pop music that are really giving me cause for concern. This then, leaves us in a landscape very far removed from that mid noughties golden age I discussed at the top. Enter then, the heroes that Gotham deserves: Girls Aloud, as you’ve probably noticed, are back.
I should say, I’m not madly in love with ‘Something New’. As a Xenomania penned effort (the group responsible for all those GA classics), I feel it’s a bit lacklustre and the opening Nadine Coyle lines give me such a riddy it’s unreal. That’s where we come to the remixes; a couple of improvements and one stupidly brilliant rework. Well worth your money as it’s all going to a good cause anyway!
Girls Aloud – Something New (The Alias Remix)
This ticks the ‘club friendly’ box right from the start. Not something I’d play personally but I can see a big room DJ dropping this and no one would even bat an eyelid. Shit man, I’d dance to it. Nice wee electro remix!
Girls Aloud – Something New (Fred Falke Remix)
Holy! Shit! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d get to hear a sunset sounds, 80s tinged Girls Aloud remix. This ticks about as many boxes as I have, so much so I wish they had released this version as the lead single. I don’t think it’d have charted as highly of course but it has bags and bags of quality all the same. Fred Falke manages to take a fairly (sorry Xenomania) middle of the road ‘in da club’ tune and turn it into something grand and emotional and beautifully uplifting. I fucking love this remix.
Girls Aloud – Something New (Manhattan Clique Remix)
Not all that sold on this one. Manhattan Clique have put out some awesome remixes in the past but this just falls short for me. It has a nice stabby, pew-pew Ibiza vibe to it but I don’t think it’d stand up so well in a club. There’s also a FUCKING DUBSTEP DROP. Come on guys. Close but no cigar!
So there we have it, a few remixes, a couple better than the original in my eyes. Girls Aloud are back and that’s a lovely thing although I gather the next single is a ballad. Urgh. Still, I’m sure there will be some remixes for me to spew my opinions all over.
We’re the leaders of the pack!
- Epoch


